My Frenemy…Spanx

My Frenemy…Spanx

My Frenemy…Spanx

Like an overtly critical Mom, a condescending co-worker or that friend who you love to hate; Spanx plays with my emotions like a daytime soap. The concept of shapewear is not new; corsets, girdles, fajas whatever you want to call them…the concept of contouring your shape  has been on the to-do list of women for centuries. Spanx has revolutionized shapewear for both women AND men offering solutions for any outfit, occasion or desired look. While I applaud Spanx’ innovative design that blends seamlessly under clothing and does deliver on its promise to make you look like million bucks…it still feels like…well…shapewear.

I’ll give credit where credits due and say that of every shapewear brand I’ve tried, Spanx is the most comfortable- in a sea of uncomfortable garments ranging from tolerable to “I feel like crying.”  However, as a yoga pant wearing, cotton tank and oversized sweater type girl, my concept of comfort is different than most people.  When I wear my Spanx I mentally prepare for the nauseating car ride, the unwillingness to eat anything that could potentially bloat me, the bunching and curling and indents left behind not to mention the 20-minute bathroom trips where I have to roll, stretch, unsnap, snap, unhook, hook etc. layer upon layer of nude colored horror.

So, while my Facebook pictures end up looking fantastic at what cost am I feigning 2 sizes smaller? As Spanx recently unveiled leggings combining the leisure look of traditional leggings with the structure and uplift of Spanx technology I wondered…if leggings, in their stretchy, body hugging, cellulite baring way now become functional shapewear, do they cease to be loungewear? Why would I wear a long, loose tunic that covers my butt and thighs if I am suffering through the hassle of wearing restrictive compression pants? If I wore Spanx leggings and gave my backside a major boost then shouldn’t I pair it with a something like a bustier or crop top (Selena style;) to show off my hard work and commitment to oxygen deprivation? It’s such a love-hate dynamic…like a toxic, passion-fueled relationship, they make me feel so sexy but yet also make me feel suffocated and uncomfortable. I’ll have to think about this next Spanx purchase long and hard…but first; doughnuts.

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