It’s Britney Bitch
I’m a grown ass woman with stretch marks and massive debt but for 90 glorious minutes back in May I was a teenager, with perky tits and no cares in the world. Allow me to explain…I attended the Britney Spears Piece of Me concert at Planet Hollywood, Las Vegas; I had amazing seats and every millennial in there was losing their $h!t right alongside me. Let me take you back to the early 2000’s; Britney was EVERYTHING, she embodied everyone. Everyone knew who she was and it was epic.
Every single she dropped saturated our pubescent culture to where she became less tangible and more of a conceptual aura of the times. Her mannerisms, style, attitude and success story became a blueprint for many of us seeking an idol. Britney embodies so many facets that almost everyone could find something relatable about her. Her music videos are still emblazoned in my mind more vividly than other notable world events. I wanted to attend a concert of hers for over a decade, but it was never the right time. Every time I’d make it a point to check out her upcoming tour schedule something more pressing would happen in my life; like birthing a child for instance; and therefore, Britney would keep getting placed on the back burner.
As my thirties approached I knew it was time; I wanted to be 29 at her concert, not 30 because I feared that by then I would be attending cello concerts in the park and it wouldn’t feel the same. I got great seats, only three rows back and was surprised to notice that she did not have a “type” of fan. Her demographic was literally all over the place; a peek of the lobby would have given a census worker anxiety. Now, while I’m not an avid concert goer (mostly because I am asleep by 9:30 most evenings) I have been to a few. I figured I’d be out of my seat most of the time and I definitely would sing along to my favorite song (I’m A Slave for You” btw) I didn’t expect what happened next.
The packed auditorium LOST IT completely, singing, crying, shouting, dancing, twerking, gyrating, screaming…it was glorious chaos. Britney literally looked like a goddess, her sequin ensembles sexier and more opulent as the evening wore on. The pyro and special effects gave us their money shot when Britney came out with “Every time”. (my second favorite song btw) Britney came out looking as glorious as ever on a huge swing and singing that iconic song that I swear made me remember every teenage heartache I ever felt as vividly as if it were yesterday. The concert gave me all the feels and I’m certain I shared that fleeting feeling with thousands of strangers that night. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to top that so my Britney concert days are done; I have placed my ticket stub and concert tee shirt on the shelf of nostalgia…right alongside my hopes, dreams and functioning metabolism.